seen_in_dreams

Im Back...

2008-10-24T08:30:03Z

God, I haven't been on here in ages!
Shockingling, I'm heavier than I used to be.
My weight has gone up to 15.5 Stones! :S Ew.
I resolved to begin a diet yesterday, when i saw the scales, and today I'm down from 216 lbs to 213 lbs.
I am determined to be at least 2 stones (28 lbs) lighter by christmas.
For some reason, I find it easier not to binge-and to avoid doing so-when I swap food for drinks.
So, the plan is to avoid solids during the day at lunch and breakfast, and then to have a small portion of food in the evenings.
It will work, so I may as well do it.

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

2007-08-15T20:01:08Z

Subject line says it all.
I was 189 lbs on Wednesday.
I Feel like shit.

seen_in_dreams @ 2007-07-08T16:30:00

2007-07-08T15:39:04Z

Meh.
I havnt posted in ages.
Im 184, down from 185 last week. I put a shit-load of weight on (at least 7 lbs...well, more like 10 lbs) since I gave up smoking, and I just cant shift it.
Well, actually, I lie-that 1 lb loss was the first lb in ages.
Im aiming to be at least 140 lbs by 14th October 2007.
Im going to try to avoid what BED (which is what I think I get episodes of-its not diagnosed though), or EDNOS, or whatever Ive got...
Its horrible.
My life is shit, and its gone mental.
Im not really in control.
At the same time, though, Im in complete control-or I have the potential to be.
Im just gonna stick to easier rules to begin with...

1.) Eat only the Very Best.
2.) Eat somewhat less of the Very Best.
3.) Eat the Very Best only at Mealtimes.

Some people might recognise this as being from The Martini Diet by Jennifer "Gin" Sanders.
I quite like it.
Its certainly adaptable.

seen_in_dreams @ 2007-01-02T18:11:00

2007-01-02T18:13:08Z

I think maybe I should try for the whole control thing with calories, but stick to 1200-1300, and say exercise enough each day to take either of those numbers down to 1000?
I think that would be like doing no exercise, and sticking to 1000 cals...except that my metabolism will have raised.
Pfft.
Im shit at this. Shit, I tell you!

seen_in_dreams @ 2007-01-02T17:44:00

2007-01-02T17:44:58Z

Okay...
I suck.
Its official.
I was 182 lbs on Monday, and I decided there and then that my new years resolution was to lose 28lbs by the 9th April 2007 (the day after my b/day).
The Idea is that Ive under marked what I could achieve, so that if I lose even a couple of lbs more than that, Ill be even happier with myself!
:)
I dont know whats wrong with me...I know EDs and EDNOS arent great, but you know, I cant get outta it.
I either binge, like I have for the past god nows how many months (i.e. compulsive over-eating), or I try to (and occasionally succeed) starve myself down a few lbs. Its not a game, and I dont do it because Im a glutton, or a wannabe anorexic.
So why cant I just eat "normally"?
I just dont get it!

seen_in_dreams @ 2006-11-20T20:55:00

2006-11-20T20:55:26Z

I have to lose at least 7lbs in 2 weeks for my Works' Xmas Party...
Im so depressed.

seen_in_dreams @ 2006-11-05T18:12:00

2006-11-05T18:12:55Z

I dont know why Ive gotten so off trck with my weightloss...'cause I was doing really well a while ago, but lately, I cant seem to stop stuffing my face.
WTF?
Anyway, heres the plan:

** 1000 cals a day (Just til I feel like I can control myself again...i.e after Xmas, then Im aiming to be on about 600-800-once Ive gotten enough cash to join the gym, so that I keep losing weight...starvation mode + no exercise = bad news for me).

**1 Multivitamin a day...once I remember to buy some, lol!

** 8 glasses of water per day.

** At least one 3rd total daily food has to be friut and veg.

** At least 3.5 hours exercise per week.

Back From The Dead

2006-11-05T18:02:57Z

Well, kinda.
I doubt anyone missed me, 'cause I usually use my other lj.
To be honest, nothings happened, except that I got another job.
Im so fat...Ive resolved to be down from 175 (yes, due to successful weightloss-which I forgot to update about-and then because I gained, Im now 175lbs...which is 1 lb lost since I last updated. Pathetic.), to 160lbs by Xmas Day.
Preferably, I would like to be 154lbs (11 stones exactly), but I dont know that Id be able to lose that much...
Ill sure as hell try, but at least If I set myself up to only lose 15lbs, then If I manage to lose 21, itll just be a nice surprise.
Does that even make sense?

seen_in_dreams @ 2006-06-30T20:05:00

2006-06-30T19:12:02Z

Havnt updated in a-g-e-s!
Been too hectic really.
Sure, Ive been on my Xanga...but God, has a lot happened!
Pretty much, my Dads kicking me out a month earlier than the date Id planned to leave by (I was going at the end of August, now Im going on 28th July...).
Im also kinda worried, really.
I seem to binge more than starve, but lately (for the past several months), Ive had really bad chest (and stomach) pains.
'Course, it could be the fact that Im 3-4 stones over-weight...OR, it could be 'cause I smoke, and Im kinda freaking out now, 'cause I know that heart disease runs in the family.
I cant break outta the eating habits I have, but Ive heard of Ana and Mia girls dying in their sleep from heart problems that they didnt notice...
So, could it happen to me?
I havnt seen a doctor yet, but Im seriously thinking about it...
But then, Im worried that I wont be able to take it if it is bad news...
Bollocks.

seen_in_dreams @ 2006-06-05T15:08:00

2006-06-05T14:08:28Z

I Really Have To Watch what I eat this week, cos I ate too much when I was away...
*cries*
So Now I feel Crap.
X_x

Plan...

2006-06-01T03:22:14Z

Im trying to think at the mo, which is hard to do when its 4:10 am and you havent slept at all...
Basically, I want to remind myself that I have control...
That Im not just some pathetic fat thing.
I know I have willpower somewhere within me.
I just have to kick it a bit.
Im not meant to be this mass of flesh.
Christ, I used to be thinner than most kids my age!
Admittedly, I was like 10-12, but still.
To be thin and stay trim through puberty (not necessarily the same weight/size, just...trim) would have been great, but no, I had to screw that, didnt I?
Now Im pissed off.
Really pissed off!

So...

Here are my Rules:

**1 Glass of Water 30 mins before each meal, and at least 1 in between each meal.
**Breakfast and Lunch are not going over 150 cals maximum each (max. total=300 cals).
**Dinner, which My Mum makes me eat, will just have to be as small as possible.
**The diet pills in my room, are actually going to be used : I started, but then forgot to take them. Theyre the healthy kind too, dammit.
**Exercise: I dont care how much I do per day, so long as I do a total of 3.5 hours minimum per week!
**No Fruit Juice, cos I drink a fair amount of it, and its just empty calories without fibre. Bleh.
**And absolutely no Tea/Coffee, unless I can cal count it!

Ack...

2006-06-01T00:01:04Z

I feel like crap. Really, I do. Since Ive been away, My eating habits and sleeping habits have fecked themselves up. Its like I have no control over my body whatsoever. *cries* So...Tomorrow, Im not eating much, and tonight Im not sleeping at all tonight to try and get my self in order again. God...I have a cinema trip tomorrow too, and cos Im swapping houses, and cant get a lift, I have to catch the 10:15 bus from Shepton Mallet to Street (which means waiting for an hour at the bus stop), then catching a bus from street to Somerton, then waiting 40 minutes for another to take me from Somerton to Langport...And then I have to catch a bus from Langport to Yeovil, and 1 back again later this evening to get back from the cinema to Sophs house! The buses around here are so shit, its unbelieveable. *dies* Plus, I dont know Shepton at all, so Im half expecting to get lost, along with the suitcase, carrier bag, and handbag that I have to carry with me. Im not looking forward to it at all. X_x

Points List (Stolen from somewhere...0,o)

2006-05-30T12:58:12Z

Points List:

(3=Perfect, 0=Crap.)
The Maximum you can score for each group, inc Extras, is 3. Total daily allowance is therefore 12.

FOOD:

Under 500: 3
Under 1000: 2
Under 1500: 1
Over 1500: 0

DRINK:

3 litres: 3
2 litres: 2
1 litre: 1
Drinking Alcohol/less than 1 litre: 0

EXERCISE:

2+ hours: 3
1+ hour(s): 2
Less than 1 hour: 1
No Exercise: 0

EXTRA POINTS:
(things that are good for your self-esteem/thinspiration)

Doing something beauty-wise, e.g. getting your nails done/wearing make-up: 1
Buying or trying on clothes in a small size: 1
Flirting with someone good-looking: 1
Dancing the night away: 1
Resisting a Food Craving/Hunger Pain: 1
Looking at pics of models/a good quality fashion mag e.g. Vogue for 1+ hours: 1
Facing the Truth (weighing/measuring self): 1